OXLAEYMoving On: Rebound Sex?
In the past, when I was feeling lonely or emotionally empty, I’d fill the hole with a causal sex affair. A woman who didn’t ask me to invest anything into her. By plugging the hole this way, I avoided dealing with my real issue: Me. But Me didn’t ever go away. Me was still there after the casual relationship and Me still needed fixing…
So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that a major reason I travelled to Thailand was for a hook up. An ex-affair had called me out of the blue a few days after my breakup with Claire. She was now living in Australia and had just broken off with her boyfriend. She was looking for unchained rebound sex and interested in meeting in Thailand. We agreed to travel together in Thailand and meet in Ko Kut, the island next door to Ko Mak. It’s secluded enough that you can swim naked in the surf but still get a nice cocktail in the evening at the bar.
We rode all around the little island with a scooter and found a very small (non-touristy) living fisherman’s village, Ao Salat. All their houses are up on anemic-looking wooden peers. The fishermen sat on planks, sorted crabs and patched up the holes in their nets. The other highlights were finding the Klong Chao waterfall and hiking to the 300-year old Macca (the bar was closed).
I’m a little ashamed to admit it, because she was quite hot, but I didn’t have sex with Annie. The truth is that I was just sick of it all. Sick of the cycle. Sick of the affairs and sick of not facing up to fixing Me. Annie was quite pissed off. After a week of traveling, she then split off on her own.
What to do after a breakup to drown out the pain? Rebound sex? Eat? Train for a marathon? Meditate? Is there a “right” way to deal with all the emotions and then come out at the other end in a better, healthier more fulfilled place?
