OXLAEYEven Idiots are Smarter in Hindsight
I never thought the new business in Europe would last more than 6 months, but that was ok with me. It was enough money that even after 6 months of work, I could backpack for a year or two. I took the money and flew back to Berlin, but I promised myself that whatever happened, I would quit in 4 years. 4 Years. Travel. Travel the world. Explore. Live.
At the end of the day, after work, I’d go back to my 3-bedroom apartment in the center of Berlin and map out where to travel to in 4 years. I tested bicycles, camping and hiking gear. I bought a camera and started learning how to shoot videos. I literally started to count down the days. Only 1459 to go.
I was lonely, although I had a hundred-plus friends in Berlin. They were just party friends, friends to catch a movie with. There were some exceptions but mostly they were friendships with little or no depth. It wasn’t that these were bad or uninteresting people. It was just that I, or we, didn’t open up to each other. There was no vulnerability. I didn’t have a steady girlfriend so I went online hooking up for casual sex, stayed with easy relationships or anything that would plug the hole without requiring that I open my heart.
Even an idiot is smarter in hindsight. After getting my heart broken in my 20s, I did what perhaps many others do. I stuck my head in the sand. I worked really, really hard and long, long hours. I got into a 2-year executive MBA program on the weekend and started a company. I visited art galleries, listened incessantly to podcasts and threw legendary house parties. I did anything and everything to occupy my brain except to make myself emotionally vulnerable to other people.
1458 days to go.
